I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Look Back.

The Austrian Oak is universally recognized as an action movie legend. However, at the height of his blockbuster fame in the late 20th century, he also delivered several critically acclaimed comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its three-and-a-half decade milestone this holiday season.

The Story and That Line

In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger embodies a undercover cop who poses as a elementary educator to catch a killer. For much of the movie, the crime storyline functions as a loose framework for Arnold to film humorous scenes with children. Arguably the most famous features a child named Joseph, who spontaneously announces and declares the former bodybuilder, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger responds dryly, “Thank you for that information.”

The boy behind the line was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. His career included a recurring role on Full House playing the antagonist to the famous sisters and the haunting part of the child who returns in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with several projects listed on his IMDb. Additionally, he engages with fans at the con circuit. Recently recalled his memories from the production over three decades on.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.

Wow, I have no memory from being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?

Yeah, a little bit. They're brief images. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would take me to auditions. Frequently it was a mass tryout. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all simply wait around, enter the casting office, be in there less than five minutes, do whatever little line they wanted and that was it. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, once I learned to read, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was incredibly nice. He was enjoyable. He was pleasant, which arguably isn't too surprising. It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a good work environment. He was great to work with.

“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a major movie star because my family informed me, but I had barely seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — like, that's cool — but he wasn't scary to me. He was just fun and I only wanted to hang out with him when he was available. He was busy, obviously, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd tense up and we'd be holding on. He was exceptionally kind. He purchased for each child in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was the hottest tech. It was the hottest tech out there, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It eventually broke. I also was given a genuine metal whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your experience as being enjoyable?

You know, it's interesting, that movie is such a landmark. It was a huge film, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the direction of Ivan Reitman, the location shoot, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the original Game Boy was brand new. That was the coolest toy, and I was quite skilled. I was the smallest kid and some of the other children would bring me their Game Boys to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all little kid memories.

The Infamous Moment

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember anything about it? Did you grasp the meaning?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word shocking meant, but I knew it was provocative and it caused the crew to chuckle. I was aware it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given special permission in this case because it was funny.

“My mom thought hard about it.”

How it was conceived, according to family lore, was they were still developing characters. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they worked on it while filming and, reportedly someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "I need to consider this, let me sleep on it" and took a short while. It was a tough call for her. She said she was hesitant, but she thought it would likely become one of the iconic quotes from the movie and her instinct was correct.